his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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