Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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