Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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