How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
