Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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