the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
