I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
