She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
