if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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