I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
