i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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