so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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