Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
