I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
