a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
