is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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