Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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