The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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