Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
