this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
