My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
