I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
