let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
