..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
