I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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