i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
