AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
