dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
