That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
