theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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