I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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