Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
