please come you make the beer taste better
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
