my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
