before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
