Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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