Pants 0. Shit 1.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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