Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
