okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
