I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
