I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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