p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
