All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
