do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
