I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
