you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
