..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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