An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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