You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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