Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
