I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
