Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
