btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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