Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
